Adjustments

I knew that getting married would entail an adjustment period, but I didn't know I'd still be adjusting 6 months into it.

I was expecting adjustments like:

• learning to live with a boy
• learning to make the most of the time Aaron and I spend together in order to avoid getting on each other's last nerve
• prioritizing my time between Aaron, work, friends, church, and other activities

I didn't, however, expect to have to make adjustments in my friendships just because I was married.

When Aaron and I first got married, we kinda disappeared for a while. We spent a lot of time with each other and not much quality time with friends and family. I think it was OK to do that for a month or two, but we became so lost in each other that our friendships with long-time friends and other couples began to suffer. I felt like I was losing my identity as an individual.

I began to feel disconnected from the other 5 couples in our small group during this past holiday season. Aaron and I were still in honeymoon mode and everyone else had their own stuff going on for the holidays. We kept floating further and further away from the people who had been there for us before we were married, and I didn't really know how to become reconnected with the ladies I loved and missed so much.

Going to small group wasn't fun for me anymore. I felt like I had missed out on so many fun times while Aaron and I were off in LaLa Land together. As much as I loved the closeness Aaron and I had developed since we had become married, I felt left out and alone without my girlfriends.

This past weekend at small group I decided to do something about the disconnection I was feeling from the girls. After our meeting was over, I asked to ladies if we could have a pow-wow and talk about some things. After lots of tears and talking, I felt much better. It was really hard for me to speak up and let them know how I was feeling, but I'm really glad I did. Summer, Lindsay, Kerri, and Alex have all been in my shoes before. They've all had to adjust to being young and married, too.

I've decided to make a conscious effort to spend more time developing female relationships in my life. I need and desire female friendships. I need to make a conscious effort to contact my friends and set aside time to spend with them instead of always expecting them to come to me.

I've also realized that I need to take better care of myself in order to properly care for others (Aaron, Sam, Toby, friends, etc.). Something as small as going to the gym by myself a few times a week helps refresh my mind and body to the point where I love, work, and live more passionately.

Thanks, ladies, for loving me just as I am. I know I'm a mess sometimes, but I truly desire deep, life-long, and meaningful relationships with each one of you.

Thanks, Aaron for always loving me unconditionally and putting up with me day in and day out. I know it's not always sunshine and roses being married to me, but you love me in spite of all of my flaws. Thanks for being so wonderful! I nub u.

Adjusting isn't always fun, but it's a necessary part of life. Now I know that being married isn't about making it through one adjustment period - it's about adjusting constantly. Without change, we would stay right where we are. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to grow.